I shall never get back the hours of my life I wasted watching the Grammys last night. I'm still trying to figure out why watched when I knew it would only cause me great personal suffering. No, it was my mother who had forgotten how bad these award shows are. She insisted I sit with her to fill her in on who was who. Truly, I am a wonderful daughter.
Despite my snobby principles, I watched all the way from Simon and Garfunkel to the Clash tribute. Everything in between was pretty bad. However, these five moments stand out as the most painful for me:
1. 'N Sync's off key "tribute" to the Bee Gees. I had an earache this morning and I blame them.
2. John Mayer's epileptic seizure during "Your Body is a Wonderland". Too many Dave Matthews and David Gray records for this guy!
3. The inexplicable superlatives heaped on Coldplay before they literally bashed out one of their songs, overpowering the NY Philharmonic. Now, I admit that Coldplay have some decent tunes. I quite enjoy "The Scientist". But surely to be worthy of terms like "innovative" and "groundbreaking" you should at least have a good rhythm section? Coldplay's is so lumpy and uninspired it makes Travis sound like Parliament in comparison.
4. Avril Lavigne's very presence, as always.
5. Erykah Badu's childish "turn back the teleprompter" routine during the all-to-brief tribute to Alan Lomax Show a little respect.
Norah Jones will be the latest edition to the Women of the Grammys: Where Are They Now? special which will air in a few years (featuring the likes of Lauren Hill, Alicia Keys, Macy Gray and Erykah Badu). Enjoy all that industry support while you can, Norah. It won't last long. The Powers That Be are no doubt already plotting the marketing campaign for next year's female soul singer "success story".
No more whining! It would take up precious energy I could be using for reading a book or something. Ta.